My hand turned me down
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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