in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
