Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
