I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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