It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
