oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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