I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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