Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
