I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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