I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
