Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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