You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
