can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
