WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you traded sex for a burrito?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am one with the molecules
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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