I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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