If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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