How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
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