im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
