I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
