Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
