Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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