operation have a gay friend backfired
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
