you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
