Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
