Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
