ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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