my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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