if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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