Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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