Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
