Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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