True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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