I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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