he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
