Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
