im drinking this country out of the recession.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
