so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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