i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
please come you make the beer taste better
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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