Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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