When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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