I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
