go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Did you pee in the oven last night??
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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