Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
