evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
