remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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