some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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