koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
