Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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