I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
