he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
