I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
