yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
