Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
